Breathing Deeply: My Life With Cystic Fibrosis

Nothing is so intolerable to man as being fully at rest, without a passion, without business, without entertainment, without care.--Blaise Pascal

Over the last few days I have been trying to take it easy. The busyness of the weekend took a lot out of me, and I know that unless I regroup now, I'll be very exhausted once the holiday season gets going full blast. I love being busy. I love having little projects to do. I enjoy trying to squeeze that last drop of effort out of myself at work on Friday afternoons at 4:59. My husband knows how tricky it is to get me to stay still.

I'm not sick right now, which is amazing considering we're into November already. My sinuses were giving me heck the other day and I was a big congested, so I worked at home where I could cough in peace without being an annoyance or health risk to my co-workers. On Tuesday night I went to be very early. I could hardly keep my eyes open past 8pm. In fact, I don't even remember falling asleep, but Brad attests that I conked out on the couch and had to be coerced into crawling under the covers of our bed.

Tonight I would very much like to do a cleaning frenzy around the apartment, but I think my energy would be better spent and somewhat preserved if I stick to getting the groceries and putting them away. I'll allow myself to deal with the clean/dirty dishes, but that's it. There's nothing that can't wait until Saturday.

Lest you think I'm lazy, let me tell you that giving myself permission to rest is a relatively new thing for me. Back in May I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). One of my obsessions was that I would not, could not allow myself to go to bed until I had taken on and conquered some huge task. I always felt like I needed to be doing something. There were times when I would take all my clothes out of my dresser and pile them on the bed just so I would have something to do by folding them all and putting them away again later. Sounds weird, but that's how OCD works. Things would just have to be ordered in a way that made sense to MY little birdbrain. But I digress.

Tonight is for putting away groceries and getting to bed before 10:00pm. Tomorrow will be a relaxing start to the weekend but having a nice dinner prepared for Brad when he gets home. Saturday will be apartment cleaning/organizing day. I think I can manage that without wearing myself out.