Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Care to Share a Glass of Whine?

I rant. Therefore I am. --Dennis Miller


In the spirit of George Orwell's 1984, I hereby designate the next 5 minutes as the "5-minute whine." Ladies, start your engines.

***

Whiney topic #1: hormones
As if cramps weren't bad enough, certain hormonal fluctuations can cause my asthma symtoms to be off the charts. It starts with a tight, whistling cough, followed by some lengthy sneezing fits. Top it all off with a lower back ache and general fatigue, and the next couple of days are pretty much a wash.


Whiney topic #2: hand washing
There are more than a few someones who regularly do not wash their hands after using the restroom at work. I can understand not using a toilet seat cover, (okay, maybe I can't) but to not wash your hands is unforgiveable. I think from now on I'm going to stop covering my mouth when I cough during my trips to the rest room this winter and see if I can pass along one of my tasty lung infections.

Whiney topic #3: get a dictionary
I definately (definitely) think that I'll prolly (probably) scream if I see that your (you're) incorrectly spelling these common words.

Whiney topic #4: it's a good hair day, go figure
Surprisingly, it's a good hair day. Unfortunately for me, there's no possible way I can style my hair so as to distract anyone from the bright red blemish on the very tip of my nose. Makeup isn't doing the trick. I think that I'm just going to have to start telling people that this little red dot means that my coffee is ready.


***
That concludes the 5-minute-whine. I now return you to your regularly scheduled happiness.

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