Breathing Deeply: My Life With Cystic Fibrosis

Whatever our souls are made of,
his and mine are the same.
--Emily Bronte

Saturday night we went out to dinner with friends. We've known this couple for slightly less than a year, and don't get to spend much one-on-one time with either of them, so much of our conversation was aimed at getting to know them a bit better. Kate and Joel got married just two weeks after we did, so they are very much on the same "newlywed" page that Brad and I are. My favorite part of the conversation that evening was hearing Joel tell his version of their engagement story. His grin was unmistakable and his eyes shone brightly even in the dim light of the restaurant, as he described the events that led up to his proposal to Kate.

Brad and I also told our story about our engagement. Hearing Brad tell it always makes me smile and laugh a bit. Mostly I laugh at myself when he gets to the part about how we would have been engaged a day sooner if I had only cut my midterm studying short. I also laugh when he describes how my jaw dropped when I realized that he was down on one knee actually proposing to me. Brad still teases me that I never said "yes" but instead managed to say "yeah."

God has been very good to us throughout our entire relationship. We have endured some very heart-wrenching trials, but more importantly, we have rejoiced in God's provision and His goodness. Brad is a tremendous source of strength and support for me, and this is because he constantly looks to our Heavenly Father for direction and wisdom. Brad teaches me a lot about how to be less of a control freak, and how to just sit still sometimes.

When we were dating, something we often discussed is that it's not enough for both of us to be Christians. Being equally yoked meant that we had to be on relatively the same page when it came to our personal convictions and our individual relationship with God. Our backgrounds are so similar in almost every way, and this makes it less daunting to fuse our individuality into common goals for our two-person family.

To be honest, I never thought I would find someone who would want to marry me. I thought that having Cystic fibrosis was quite possibly the biggest turn off ever. I couldn't imagine that there was a man in the world who would be willing to sleep beside me each night, sometimes having to listen to the wheezes and gurgles that go along with the various lung infections. I thought that no parent would ever want their son to marry a woman whose lifespan was decidedly shorter than average.

This just goes to show that nothing is too much of a challenge for God. I am dumbstruck to realize that during all my self-depreciating teenage years, God was working to prepare the heart of the man I would one day marry. All the things I thought were undesireable about me are the very things that have tempered my character and molded me into the God-fearing woman that I am. God has used each of my personal struggles to shape me into a woman who is worthy of the godly man who wakes up beside me each morning.

God must really love me to have put me where I am today.