Breathing Deeply: My Life With Cystic Fibrosis

Ever since my little ER event, I've been at home trying to take it easy. I've tried pacing myself so that I don't run out of energy between naps. Of course, anyone who knows me knows that sitting still is not my forte. Thankfully I've got my knitting hobby to keep me entertained and busy without exerting too much energy.

Our Thanksgiving was a nice mellow one. We drove up to Brad's parent's home to enjoy time with them, Brad's grandparents and my sister-in-law. I was in charge of bringing a veggie tray for an appetizer. The one I found at the grocery store was pre-packaged and had a nice variety. Mom prepared so much food! All of it was wonderful--even the stuffing, and I'm not a fan of stuffing. What I am a fan of though is the gelatin dessert Mom makes. She had said she wasn't going to make it this year (*GASP!) but she did anyway. Just to show my appreciation, I ate squares of it.

Today we kept praying that the phone would ring and that it would be the hospital saying they had a bed for me. No luck. Perhaps sometime this weekend. I'm not going to make any bets though. I think I have a better shot at getting in on Monday. My bag is already packed and ready to go.

Part of me hopes I don't get in until Monday because on Sunday night I'm supposed to give a short version of my testimony to our congregation at church. It will be difficult to condense all of what God has been doing in my life into a 2 minute speech. I don't really know quite where to start either. I guess what I want people to understand is that God has continually provided for me. He has sustained me when CF threatens to undo me, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. When there are no answers to the "why's" in my life, God sends his Holy Spirit to tell me gently that there isn't always a reason. Last but not least, God has blessed me with a supportive church family and circle of friends who don't hesitate to let me know that I'm thought about and cared for at all times. I know for certain that all of that is God's doing, and for that I praise his Name.

To sum it all up, I'm sick again. I am so incredibly disappointed. My FEV1 dropped all the way down to what it was when I was hospitalized last time.

Yesterday I had PFTs done. I was really shaky and wobbly when I did them and the RTs were concerned. They gave me oxygen and called my CF nurse to come over. She recommended I go to the ER. She volunteer to "drive" me over in a wheelchair. While we were waiting I passed out (which by the way bumps you to the front of the line in the ER! ha!) When I came to I was wearing a hospital gown. My heart rate was something like 225.

They did a full workup and called my doctor. He and I talked on the phone and he said he didn't want to ruin my Thanksgiving, but he did want me to be admitted. The choice was basically up to me.

*sigh* This is a frustrating turn of events. Your prayers are much appreciated.

I finally have enough energy to do the things I want to in addition to the things I need to do. This weekend for example. On Saturday Brad and I straightened up the house together and then we went to the gym. I started out on the elliptical and then moved on to the treadmill. I got up to a pretty good pace on that thing. I was even able to walk a mile without coughing! I was stunned. Tomorrow I have another session with the personal trainer. We'll see what he has planned for me.

On Sunday Brad and I went to church together. Boy did that feel good! I really miss church when I'm sick. Listening to podcasts of the sermon just isn't the same as actually sitting there in the pew, participating in worship.

After church we decided to go see the movie "Fireproof." We had heard that it was good and that anyone who's married should go see it. It's a movie starring Kirk Cameron, about a couple who's on the brink of divorce. In order to save the marriage, the husband works hard to demonstrate to his wife that he still loves her. All in all it was good because of the Christian message (yes, blatantly Christian) but I didn't really like watching the couple fight. All that negative energy sort of put me in a bad mood. Still, it gave us plenty to talk about and I think that Brad and I will definitely put some of the ideas of the movie into practice. A lot of it was similar to what Dr. Laura tells her callers to do--treat their spouse kindly. Quite a novel approach, don't you think?

Today I'm just lounging around a bit. I did some writing this morning and now I'm thinking I might like a little afternoon nap. The bunnies are all stretched out in their cage grooming each other. They look like they're on the verge of a nap themselves.

Healthwise I'm doing great. Yesterday I had a whopper of a stomachache (the kind where you don't even dare leave the house because you might need a bathroom) but today it's much better. All the prednisone weight that had accumulated on my stomach seems to have melted away overnight. Yesterday I looked 3 months pregnant and today I'm almost completely back to my usual shape. My face is still a bit puffy from the meds, but that's okay. My blood sugar is getting back to normal too. I'm still ferociously thirsty from time to time, but at least that forces me to be well hydrated.

By the way, I've been given a blogging award by my friend Kelly.

Here are the rules for the award:

This week is going really well. I have been blessed with an abundance of freelance assignments this week and I've had the luxury of picking and choosing just the ones I want. Also, I've had the joy of being the caregiver for a change. Yesterday I drove Brad to the oral surgeon in the morning for a consultation about his wisdom teeth. Later that afternoon I drove him back again for the actual extraction procedure. It made me feel really good to be the one he leaned on (quite literally thanks to anesthesia!). I dropped his prescriptions off and picked them up, went to the grocery store and got some soft foods for him including some Ben and Jerry's ice cream that he ended up eating for dessert.

Brad spent the night on the couch which meant it was MY turn to see what it's like to have your significant other be gone. It was all I could do not to go sleep on the hard floor next to the couch just so I could be next to him. I don't know how we get through it when I'm hospitalized. Must be the grace of God and a huge dose of patience.

Today I had one of my personal training sessions at the gym. It was the first time I had been since I was hospitalized. I was initially a little concerned about how clean the place might be, but it turns out my fears were unfounded. I took note of 3 people with sanitizing sprays and towels cleaning the equipment. Hooray!

My trainer says I need to be doing more cardio. He was impressed with how my balance had improved; I told him I had taken my weights along to the hospital and had done some of the exercises there that he had shown me. I didn't want to loose too much ground, you know? He said it looked like it paid off. My right side of my body is still overcompensating somehow, but we're working on that.

After the gym I came home and played with the bunnies. They are absolutely adorable. They've come a long way in a short period of time. They aren't quite to the point of sitting in my lap yet, but they at least come over and sniff at me if I sit still on the floor long enough. They mostly just frolic with each other. They're practically airborne for most of the time they play together. They've already learned "bedtime" and "no." Those are the most important things in my book. We haven't had any accidents, but we did have an instance of breaking and entering. They found the door to my craft room ajar and snuck in. As soon as I went in and turned on the light they scampered out rather quickly as if they knew they were trespassing. Such interesting little creatures. I have a lot of fun with them.

Tomorrow I plan to get my haircut and meet with a friend of mine. Sounds like an easy day, doesn't it?