Breathing Deeply: My Life With Cystic Fibrosis

I was scheduled for sinus surgery last Wednesday. Dozens of reasons exist for why that never came to fruition. We rescheduled the surgery for this Wednesday. Today I got a call from the clinic that looks at my blood-work prior to surgery and they said some of my numbers looked abnormal so they want me to come in for a work-up on Thursday. That means surgery is once again canceled.

In the meantime I have a ripping sinus headache that could very well be part of a sinus infection. I'm running a 102 fever, so in a way I guess it's good that surgery is postponed again. Even so, I'm frustrated. I'm trying to remember to lift up all my anxiety and frustration to God because He can deal with it much more easily than I can. Perhaps it was a "God-thing" when the Twila Paris song "God is In Control" came up on my CD player as I hung up the phone receiver after talking to the doctors.

I don't know what God is doing with this season of my life. Maybe it's yet another way that He's telling me to pause and take better care of myself. Maybe He's calling on me to throw my precious schedules and time tables into the trash bin and trust His timing for what He has for me. Perhaps I need to get better at actually placing my trust in Christ alone rather than just paying lip service. I sincerely want my source of strength and hope to be Christ alone. I don't know why letting go of my selfishness is so difficult.