Sunday, December 03, 2006
The Grand Piano Caper
The above quote couldn't be any more appropriate for my experience last night.
I've been in the hospital now for 12 long and boring days. I'm still feeling too sick to do much of anything other than write and do Sudoku puzzles. I haven't been glum or crabby, like other times when I'm in the hospital. Having some of my familiar things from home helps a lot with that.
Yesterday afternoon/evening I had a little more energy than usual and I didn't want to waste it just channel surfing all evening. I called Brad and asked him to bring over some of my Christmas sheet music. I was bound and determined that I was going to play the grand piano that sits downstairs in the atrium.
I put on clean pajamas, brushed my hair, donned a red sweater (to get in the holiday spirit). IV pole in tow, Brad and I proceeded down the hall and toward the elevator. While in the elevator we discussed our mischievous plan. Brad would pull the plug on the player piano while I seated myself on the piano's bench.
The elevator doors opened and we simultaneously sucked in deep breaths. There was no turning back. Onward to the piano!
We thought we timed it perfectly. It was just late enough in the day that there weren't many people milling about to spot us. It was early enough in the evening that we weren't afraid of violating any quiet hours or something like that. We thought our little plan was going to come off without a hitch.
No such luck. No sooner did I sit down at the piano than a burly campus security guard barked at me. I told him I had my nurses permission to play the piano. He disagreed. For about a minute we argued about whether or not I had the authority to play such a fine instrument. He was convinced that my playing it would somehow disrupt the MIDI files that it runs when it's functioning as a player piano. He asked my name and I showed him my patient wristband. I don't know if he can't read or what, but he asked me to spell my name. I wanted to say "m-y n-a-m-e" but I kept my mouth shut.
Bitterly disappointed, I slunk back to my room on the 3rd floor. I told the nursing staff what had happened and they confirmed that "Barney Fife" of campus security was just a jerk.
Mark my words, I will play that piano. It's just a matter of time.